Mother’s Day – it’s a day to be thankful for our mama’s and
grateful for the kids that make us one! I take great joy and excitement in this day
every year, but it’s not always been that way!
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| 1st Mother's Day |
I vividly recall, nine years ago today, sitting at church on
the wooden pew, listening to the Pastor talk about Motherhood. I had just experienced a very [physically]
painful miscarriage just months after having become a wife. I remember trying to hold back tears as I
thought about the many miscarriages my Nana had and wondering if I would suffer
the same. I cringed as I saw mothers
being recognized and honored. It was not
a day of rejoicing and gratefulness for me, but a day of mourning. Little did I know, God had already begun
working in me…literally. We found out
just weeks later that I was pregnant.
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| Just before learning we were pregnant!!!! |
I had some of the worst morning day sickness I could
have imagined. It lasted most of my
pregnancy. All the pain, sickness, exhaustion
and extra weight was worth it when I saw my little man for the first time. It was only moments later that life would be
forever changed for me. There were
several complications after Josh’s delivery and ultimately the doctors had to
do a hysterectomy to stop the bleeding and save my life. I was devastated when I was told the horrible
news. What 21 year old who has been
married just a year wants to be told they can never have children again??? This began a long journey with the Lord!
Three years after this amazing and yet tragic day, we were
given one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen! We knew she may not be ours forever, but for
the moment, she was my little girl.
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| Right after we got Ellie!!!! |
What a roller coaster ride being a foster-mom was. The visits with her tummy mommy whom I often
resented, with trying to reunite her with her family when I didn’t want to give
her up, or helping her tummy mommy learn how to be a mom when I just wanted to
run away with my lil princess. Ultimately,
her birth mom terminated her rights and the adoption process was started. That was another hard day. I was overjoyed that she would finally be
ours! At the same time my heart broke
for her tummy mommy and could only imagine what she was experiencing. Months later we received the call that she was
officially a Henderson .
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| The day we got THE CALL |
Now here we are, almost 5 years later, waiting…hoping…praying…for
the girl we hope to call ours. I am
beyond blessed with my two amazing kids, but my heart still aches for the one
that’s not home yet!
I pray for you women who are still waiting…praying for a
miracle…trying to trust in the Lord when you feel like He’s let you down. I understand.
I’ve been there. It’s not
easy. It’s hard. BUT, God is in control. His timing is PERFECT. His ways are HIGHER. And He is mighty. Let me leave you with the lyrics to one of my
FAVORITE songs right now….
“Spirit lead me where my trust is
without borders…”
